Monday, January 16, 2006

Of a friend's wedding and matchmaking aunties

Over the weekend I attended a wedding of an old friend, with whom I had suffered the terrors of high school. He has been in “outside countries” for a while and he decided to come back for a bit and do the needful via his sweetheart.

The wedding was alright and I got to meet a number of friends I hadn’t seen in a while. In the process of exchanging war stories, the conversation steered to the topic of marriage.

It all started when the groom dropped by briefly and started waxing on endlessly about how it was such a great feeling to finally get married, joining the ranks of men…. etc etc. Then everybody got to agreeing fully with him and generally picked up on the whole topic when he had left. All of a sudden everybody wanted to show just how soon they would be inviting us to their receptions. I got the feeling that everybody wanted to outdo each other on how soon they would make honest women of their girlfriends.

Somebody soon realised one Jay was not contributing as enthusiastically as the rest and the attention soon turned to me. When asked why the disinterest, I answered that marriage was something that I just didn’t think about at the moment. Soon I was being told that I was just lying to myself, still holding on unrealistically to past years of youthful abandon (this I thought was a load of bollocks) and that at our ages (most of people present were just over 25) marriage ought to be somewhere up there among the priorities.

For a while I failed to recognise these guys because they started to sound a lot like a certain auntie of mine. Most of the time she is good company except when she is matchmaking. These days it happens more often because many of my slightly older cousins (and a few younger ones, all female) are getting married with such frequency it appears there must be some inheritance from some unknown rich relative for whoever throws down the most grandkids before a certain date.

Anyway my auntie prides herself with being responsible for hooking up a number of these guys and bringing in line one or two that were beginning to have doubts. Since the older guys are all but done she has me in her matchmaking crosshairs. No visit or phone call goes without the lunch invitation for me and my girlfriend (an invitation I wouldn’t want to inflict on anyone I happen to be going out with).

I have unfortunately not been a good candidate and she doesn’t tire of lecturing me on my lifestyle, and on the fact that I don’t seem to take anything seriously or plan ahead. I do not know how many times I have been told how important it is to “settle” and start developing myself etcetera. Most of the advise makes sense, what I resent is that she sometimes gives the impression that I am wastrel who is heading for nowhere unless I get hitched.

I gave up on telling her that, like most things in my life, it will happen when it does. I am not one of those people who have a five-year plan at all times where certain things have to be achieved by year X. I am mostly a here and now kind of person and right now certain things just haven’t crossed my mind. But she will probably keep at it hoping to wear me down.

I now why I don’t like weddings, but I will be watching my friends' progress towards the matrimonial altar with interest. Who knows cupid might do a major number on me and before you know I could beat them there.....naaaaah.


BADRU said...

Thanks Jay! Your idle notes are certainly a great read! It's amazing how impossible it is to discover how much the blog is changing the world, unless one runs their own blog. I discovered this last week. Good reading. Badru

Carlo said...

when you think about it, it's better to get married when you're over 25 cuz . . . well, cuz i say so! i'm still getting married at 30 so mr. right can wait another few years, couldn't hurt.

Jay said...

Carlo i get the feeliing your mum might have a very different opinion judging from your last post.

Iwaya said...

here's a tune about marriage, used to show on WBS TV in the good old days from a classic show: "Love and marriage, go together like horse and carriage."

MDD said...

hey jay,
i like yo blogspot all e more for its simplicity & down-to-earth posts.
tell, me, how can i also add links of other bloggers on ma site?
thx & i'm waitin 4 yo latest post!

Degstar said...

love & marriage, horse & carriage, i like that. this post has the highest number of comments so far, must be because y'all on the wrong side of 25 and getting tired of having to beg, plead, cajole, buy and steal your way into female beds, i know i am.