Friday, September 01, 2006

Caught in the middle

It’s about 10pm and I am at the counter in my local slowly poisoning my liver but liking the process immensely. My usual buddies are not around so I am making some chitchat with the bar lady in between watching bits of a recorded premiere league match (sans volume) on the screen above. The background music is just right and everything is cool.

In walk Jon and a beautiful young lady that I seem to know from some place. Jon walks over to me and gives his greetings. Young lady picks sits on a barstool next to Jon, who is now sitting on my right. I am introduced to the young lady and vice verse. The young lady is called Sue. The name does not set off any chimes in my head but the face still looks familiar.

Sue offers to buy pork for both her and Jon but Jon declines, he says something about an early supper or late lunch. Sue goes on to order for her meat and for drinks for both of them.

The manager walks in and challenges Jon to a best-of-three pool duel (apparently Jon walked all up and down is ass the last time they played). Jon takes up the challenge eagerly and thus I am now left with Sue and the small talk commences.

I enquire as to where I might have laid eyes on Sue’s fine self before. Sue says she doesn’t think the two of us have met. One of those Eureka bulbs pops up glowing brightly above my head and I say I am certain that I have seen Sue once or twice at a certain medical facility that has always been good to me whenever I need an excuse for having not appeared at work on a given day. Sue acknowledges working there and I realise why the face is familiar and yet she doesnt seem to recognise me. Her workplace is usually teaming with bonafide patients who keep her too busy to notice loungers with made-up diseases chilling out in the lounge reading two-week old magazines while waiting for the doctor to bring any official looking, signed and stamped, document to prove that they were actually to see the doctor.

Jon has been beaten terribly at game one (a quick seven-baller) and he comes over to take a sip off his drink. He asks me for a cigarette, which I offer. Sue tells him how her and me “as if” know each other. Jon makes some “small world” like comment and goes back to salvage his honour at the pool table.

The small talk (more like familiar banter by now) goes on over drinks and cigarettes (Sue loves to torch it too, by the way). Its all good until I begin wondering what Jon is doing over there at the pool table (especially since they are really sticking it to him) while his date is over at the counter with me.

Sue calls over to Jon and suggests he packs it in and gives her a ride home. Jon light-heartedly (at least I am sure it was meant to sound light hearted) that people with no faith in his pool playing abilities should find their own way home. Jon loses game three and I am thinking its time to get the hell out of Dodge, seeing how it is approaching the witching-hour (not to mention some sense of tension).

I am in the process of bidding my adieus when Jon says he won’t have any of that. He says he hasn’t had time to have a decent chat with me the whole evening. He offers a round and even says he will drop me off home. He had me at “another round” so the free ride is a great bonus.

Sue is now suggesting it is late and she’d really like to leave. Jon says we’ll be done in no time. Sue smiles but I can see she isn’t happy. Well anyway, we finish the drinks “faster, faster”; clear whatever needs to be cleared. Jon promises the manager he’ll definitely be back in the sequel to the evening’s pool show and we exit the bar.

We get into the car and I can’t wait to be dropped off at the turning to my block not far away. However when we get to said turning Jon doesn’t stop and moves right on. Sue doesn’t look too happy about this (probably has something to do with the fact that I had mentioned vaguely where I live during our chat earlier).

We get to Sue’s place. Sue gets out quickly; Jon follows soon after and tells me to give him a minute. I move to the front, light up (I have travelled in this car many times and I know he’s cool with it), and wonder what tiff I have just gotten myself mixed up in.

The car is parked just outside the gate and I can hear a bit of the exchange going on on the other side. I convince myself it has nothing to do with me until I hear my name mentioned twice. Jon comes out and we set off.

I am dying to ask what just happened but Jon answers me before I do. Sue is apparently an ex of Jon’s friend and she has wanted to bed Jon for a while. She had apparently figured that night was the night and she wasn’t amused by the fact that one Jay tagged along and ruined everything.

I am quick to point out that I didn’t ask to be dropped off. Jon says he is aware of that fact but that my being in the bar gave him a way out of spending the night at Sue’s without appearing to be the bad guy. Apparently he needed time to find out if she wasn’t on some mission to get back at her ex. I suspect he told the chick that he would have loved to stay but he couldn’t leave a buddy stuck in the middle of the night

I was like damn; I’ve probably made myself an enemy without even trying.


Mataachi said...

that is what is called having your homies back. it had to be natural, that's why he didn't let you in on the scheme till it was over. from the looks of things, you did well.

and think of it, i mean the guy had morals. he didn't want to sleep with his buddy's ex. you owe him a beer indeed!

Darlkom said...

This is priceless. What I wouldn't have given to be a fly on that wall.

Kenyanchick said...

I need to read more of this type of thing, so that the male of the species can be demystified and explained.

Mataachi's reading of the situation, for instance, is priceless. Where's Savage?

And Jay, have you seen her since?

Guys are so weird.

Degstar said...

Ur buddy owed it to his buddy to make love to Sue. better him than some jock she met in a bar or at IAA where she works. U shda offered to go back n do d deed. dats having ur Buddy's back!

baz said...

I agree with Deg. It's called loyalty. It is called sacrifice. Take a bullet for your buddy. If Jon can't do it, you need to go in there, soldier. Get you some Sue.

inktus said...

kenyanchick, b4 i was like some guys are wierd. but after reading everyone's comments, u're right guys are just plain wierd!

savage said...
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savage said...
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savage said...

Jon must be getting laid left,right and center for him to pass up an easy lay that.Then again perhaps Sue is just some horny hoochie.

Funny thing is that actually there could be guys who would give anything to have relations with Sue and here is one Jon trashing her overtures.

It's a very fulfilling experience being in Jon's position, I guess, because I don't remember passing up anything.Anyone who falls in my way is guaran-DAMN-teed to go down. Even MILFs.

Jay said...

I cant confim this but I have a feeling Jon is about to hit.

@deg I personally think better some strange than a tight. I know how guys can act like they dont care if a pal is getting close to an ex and yet they dont like it one bit. Especially in this case where she was the immediate ex.

@kenyanchick, Sawa her once and all just barely acknowledged each others presence and moved on fast.

ninetynine said...

So, how was she?

Cherie said...

Jon don't even want to get into Sue's pants....he ditched her for the pool game which is is so lousy at. offered u another round and a ride home. all the while throwing her time away.
man, where do i get a man like this! care to venture his whoabouts and whereabouts?

Cherie said...

on the other hand Sue must be the problem, unbeknown to y'all. sometimes we just repel guys. or he went to jamaica but didn't enjoy it, and swore over his dead body that he'd never been to such a boring place!

Degstar said...

@Sav, wats a/an MILF?


a Mother I'd Love 2 F**k

lissingmink said...

i think the problem here is jon.

jon has a big fat arse ego that tells him since Sue is his friend's ex and they are out for a drink- she wants him; she's gagging for him. and he figures to prove his point...let me play pool while my pal chats her up so that when i tell the story of the shag there will be a witness.

my bet is susie told him to eff off when he figured it was time to score and hence, his implying she is a psycho nympho!

then again sue probably just wanted a shag... and realised she might as well sue herself

or she is psycho totally dickmatised by jon.

there it is off my chest